Mean Politicians: Hamilton goes Mean Girls
by ireadbooks66
Summary: Inspired by an uncredited post I saw on Instagram. Hamilton in a Mean Girls universe. When Alexander Hamilton moves to Cherry Hill from the Caribbean, he crosses paths with Thomas Jefferson, Aaron Burr and James Madison, creating drama of epic proportions. Modern High School AU. *I don't own the cover image*
1. Chapter 1

**Heeeey guys! I'm back! School started :( so I probably won't be updating very frequently. This is an intro to a Hamilton fic inspired by a post I saw on Instagram, which depicted Hamilton, Madison, Burr and Jefferson in "Mean Politicians", the post was uncredited. Hamilton in an alternate** ** _Mean Girls_** **universe. Several details are changed, so this will not follow the exact plotline of** ** _Mean Girls_** **.**

 **Disclaimer: Yes, my cover image is the edit I mentioned above. Isn't it great? No, I don't own it.**

 **Disclaimer 2: Unfortunately, I don't own** ** _Mean Girls_** **or** ** _Hamilton._**

 **######**

The huge, heavy doors of Cherry Hill High School, which had to be at least ten feet in length, were daunting to almost every student who stood before then for the first time.

But to Alexander Hamilton, they were much more so. These doors were dividing him from everything he had always wanted- an education, redemption, America. Sure, he had gone to school in Nevis, but nothing like this. He had been excited for high school, but he hadn't expected it to be so _big_. This was goodbye Caribbean, hello Cherry Hill.

"Move it!" Someone shoved past him, pushing him right into another person.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Alex quickly apologized and pushed his way through the crowd and the now-open doors. Upon seeing the main hallway, his jaw hit the floor. There were just so many _kids_ , too many unfamiliar faces. He scanned the jumble of students for Hercules Mulligan. The Mulligans became Alex's foster parents over the summer, and he was very grateful. Hercules was his age, and they were dropped off at the same time, although Herc quickly disappeared after his lacrosse friends found him and dragged him into the crowds.

He fumbled his schedule out of his shirt pocket. "First period- World History, Martha Dandrige. Room 3218." Alex squinted at the piece of paper. If the second number was the floor number, and the last two were the room number, what was the first number? The hall, perhaps? This was all far too confusing.

A little while later, Alexander stumbled upon room 3218. "Finally," he muttered under his breath as he barged into the classroom- smack dab into the teacher. The three cups of coffee she was holding exploded on her modest collared shirt.

Alex turned bright red. "Oh, ma'am, I am so sorry. I did not mean to do that, and… I'll pay! I'll pay for your dry cleaning! I'm sorry for that."

The rest of the class were trying to stifle their giggles.

"You're fine, kid." The teacher grumbled and started to peel off her coffee stained shirt. Not wanting to find a seat now, an embarrassed Alex settled to standing in the upper corner of the room. This was _not_ how he anticipated his first day to go.

The teacher had stripped down to her bra when another teacher entered the classroom. His eyes widened.

"Martha," He said suspiciously.

She blushed. "Please, George. Don't ask."

He shrugged it off. "Well, hello students and welcome back to Cherry Hill High School. As you all know, I am Principal Washington and I hope you all are ready for an exciting year."

Mr. Washington pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket. "We have a new student today in this class, who has come to us all the way from the Caribbean."

Alex froze. He knew exactly who Mr. Washington was referring to.

A few heads turned, looking for this new face,

"His name is Alexander. Alexander Hamilton."

"Actually, that's me," Alex raised his hand. "You can call me Alex."

"Well, Alex, welcome to Cherry Hill. Have a great day, everyone!" He left the room and Ms. Dandrige, who had found a cardigan in her purse, began the lesson.

##############  
Alex now scourged the classroom, looking for an empty seat. He settled on a chair in the second row.

"Psst." A voice interjected behind him. He whipped his head around to find two boys staring back at him. One was freckled and had light brown eyes and a sneakily happy smile. His shirt had a turtle on it. The other had a sly smirk and a ball of frizzy hair that was tied into a ponytail on the tip of his head. "He farts a lot," Turtle Boy said, pointing to the seat in front of the one Alex had settled on.

The kid in that chair slowly turned around to face Turtle Boy.

"Shut up, Seazbury, You know iz true." Frizzy Ponytail responded with a heavy French accent.

Seabury turned around looking a bit hurt. "Shame." He muttered under his breath.

Sighing, Alex took another seat the next row back.

"Vat is next to where John Jay and Sarah Livingston have vier makeout sessions." Frizzy Ponytail called. Turtle Boy made a throat slitting motion.

Alex look around and reluctantly took the only seat left- right next to Turtle Boy and Frizzy Ponytail.

"Hi, New Kid." Turtle Boy said. "You're Alexander, right? Alexander Hamilton?"

"How about Hammy?" Frizzy Ponytail nudged Turtle Boy, who nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm gonna call you Hammy. I'm John Laurens, by the way.

"Is vis your natural hair color? I wish I had such dark, glossy locks." Frizzy Ponytail remarked, grabbing a lock of Alex's hair and pulling it to his face.

John smirked. "That's Lafayette, he's almost too French to function."

Alex nodded, a little intrigued by the boy.

"Hey Laurens, what's the wig made out of?" A kid passing by asked.

"Your mom's chest hair!" Laurens retorted. Alex cocked an eyebrow. Why was Lafayette not getting this question instead?

"By the way, Hammy, you can call me Laurens because there are ten thousand Johns at this school. Either is fine with me.

Alex only had time to nod his head before the teacher called on him.

##########

He arrived in the lunchroom a few hours later, his disastrous morning behind him. Alex managed to get lost five times, open the supply closet doors on two couples making out, and forget his locker combination; he was looking forward to a drama-free lunch, whether it was at a table or in the loo.

After getting his food, he approached the table where Laurens and Lafayette were seated at.

"Uh… can I sit here?"

"Oui, Hammy," Lafayette extended his arm to pat the spot across from him.

"Thanks," Alex gratefully took his seat and began to poke at his food.

"You've chosen wisely, buddy. There are a lot of cliques here you don't want to get involved with." Laurens was engraving a turtle on the table.

Alex was confused. "What are cliques?"

Lafayette seemed shocked. "Whaaaaat?"

Laurens shook his head. "Boy, Hammy, you've been living under quite the rock. You have a lot to learn here at Cherry Hill.

"So there's dozens of little social groups here, they're called cliques. The other members of your clique are your friends- well, in some cases, 'friends'. Usually there's one group per table in the lunchroom."

"Some examples are vie theater nerds, vie Harry Potter fanatics, vie band geeks, vie video game nerd, vie kids who do nothing but sleep, vie football jocks, vie Pokemon Go players…"

Laurens let out a chuckle.

"Vie chorus members, vie girls who eat veir troubles away, vie girls who don't eat anything, vie emos, vie dumb jocks, vie sugar lovers, vie debate team, vie feminists, vie Loyalists…"

"Oh my god. The Loyalists." Laurens shook his head.

"Who are the Loyalists?" Alex asked.

"You see, Hammy, a few years ago we had a principal named George Troix. He ruled our school like a tyrant, so much so that he became known as King George. He was just awful. A bunch of us students worked together to get him fired and get Mr. Washington as the principal, who is so much better. The Loyalists are the kids who sided with King George and tried to stop our little revolution. They still complain today that he was better. Samuel Seabury is their leader."

"Damn." Alex shook his head.

"But, vier's the worst clique of all," Lafayette pointed out.

Laurens nodded. "The Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans." They both seethed at the same time.

All three heads turned to the table at the very center of the cafeteria.

"James Madison. Aaron Burr. Thomas Jefferson. Aka the worst trio known to man." Laurens eyed the table with disgust.

"James Madison ez vie smallest guy you will ever meet. He's shorter than most of the girls and half the football players could crush him." James got up to put his tray away. He was only a little bit taller than a sitting Thomas. "But he's also the wittiest, most savage, most stuck up guys you will ever meet."

"Aaron Burr's father was the president of Princeton, so he as pretty much a free ride to go there. His family is pretty well off," Lafayette continued earnestly. "But he will do _anything_ to be in the room where it happens."

"Aaron Burr is a traitor and a life ruiner. He's despicable," Laurens stated loudly.

"But nobody vis worse than Thomas Jefferson,"

Laurens sighed. "How do I even begin to describe Thomas Jefferson?

"Thomas Jefferson rules this school. Everyone knows him, everyone wants to be him. I swear, if he came to school in an evening dress nobody would bat an eye."

"And all the boys would be wearing one the next day," Lafayette pointed out.

Laurens nodded. "True. However, Thomas Jefferson is perfect, yet he is just so cruel, manipulative, offensive and even more savage than James Madison. He's terrible."

At that moment, three girls approached the Democratic Republican's table. Thomas nodded and the trio left the cafeteria, a girl on each of their arms.

"Dolley Payne. Theodosia Barlow and Martha Wayles. The lady friends of the Democratic Republicans." Laurens commented before putting his hands on the table and giving Alex a serious look. "Hammy, trust me, you want to stay far, far away from them."

 _Thomas Jefferson_. The name had a certain ring to it, which only got Alex more interested. He asked everyone he talked to after lunch about him.

"Thomas Jefferson is flawless,"

"He has three Rolex watches and a red car,"

"I hear his hair's insured for ten thousand dollars,"

"I hear he shoots car commercials- in _France_!"

"His favorite movie is Top Gun."

"Once he meet Lin Manuel Miranda on a plane. And he told him he was cool!"

"Once, he bitch-slapped me in front of a crowd. It was _awesome,_ "

###########

Alex recorded all of this and observed his notes during calculus, his last period of the day. Thomas Jefferson seemed like a Queen Bee on steroids. He knew didn't want to mess with this kid.

"Hey, do you happen to understand the last portion of question five?"

Alex looked up to find himself face to face with the girl in front of him. And _holy shit_ , she was gorgeous. Her hair, perfectly straightened, went down almost to her waist, and her face shone naturally with barely any makeup. Her voice was melodious, he could imagine it calling his name already…Alex's face flushed as he flipped through his notebook. "Yeah…yeah, I did it somewhere…"

She smiled, and Alex completely melted. "Sorry. I'm Eliza, by the way."

"Alex. Nice to meet you…" _Eliza_. What a pretty name! Alex hadn't met many Elizas in St. Croix. "Here it is. Our calculations were quite similar, but you made a mistake in your dividing. You have to bring down the five, see?" He showed her the right way to finish the problem, and she thanked him and turned back around. Alex never got the courage to ask for her number.

#########

As he was leaving the class, a hand tapped him on the shoulder. He found a grinning girl with curly frizzy hair and glasses staring back at him. "Hey! You're the new kid, right?"

He nodded. "Alexander Hamilton."

"I'm Angelica Schuyler, leader of the Mathletes and founder of the feminist club. Since you're also in Honors Calculus and we need more members I was wondering if you would be considering joining the Mathlete team. Here's my card." She gave him a card which had a phone number and email and read- "Angelica Schyler. Mathlete, feminist, never satisfied ;)"

Alex frowned. Sure, he was never satisfied either, but not in the way she seemed to mean it. "Thanks," He grinned forcefully as she walked away.

"My crazy sister got you, I see?" Eliza was at his side.

Alex jumped. "Wait- she's your sister?"

Eliza nodded. "Yep, a year younger than me. I'm a junior. Sure, we're close as all heck, but she was always more of the geeky activist type. We went down separate paths in high school. Our other sister, Peggy, skipped eighth grade and started school today. We're still waiting to see where she fits in this puzzle of a school," She leaned upwards to look him in the eyes. "See you tomorrow, newbie."

Alex waved as she turned to walk down the hallway, her glossy hair swishing behind her.

########

He saw Hercules again at the end of the day, on the bus ride back home. "Hey Alex! Sorry for this morning, I was dragged away and couldn't find you again. How was your first day?"

Alex said nothing but nodded and walked away.

It was going to be a crazy year.

 **What did you guys think? Leave me any praise or criticism you have, preferably constructive but whatever rocks your boat. And if you have any ideas for how I should take this story feel free to DM me or review, I don't have any more of this written yet. Love seeing those reviews! Part two coming soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't expect to be updating so quickly, but some reviewers really wanted me to continue (thanks so much to those of you who did). This one's a bit short but the Democratic Republicans finally enter the scene.**

 **And for those of you wondering, yes I am aware that in reality Angelica is older than Eliza. In this story I wanted Angelica to have a geeky, immature vibe so therefore I made her younger than her more mature sister.**

 **Disclaimer: I am not Lin Manuel Miranda, therefore I do not own Hamilton. I am also not Tina Fey, so I do not own Mean Girls. You happy?**

"You can't join the Mathletes! That's social suicide!" Laurens shouted in the bathroom.

Alex sighed. "Fine. What isn't social suicide?"

"Student Council. Debate team. Anything that _Thomas Jefferson_ is a part of." Laurens cringed, as if the name alone distressed him.

"Laurens," Alex interjected. "What did Thomas Jefferson do for you to hate him this much?"

"Laurens used to be friends with Thomas and vie Democratic Republicans," Lafayette pointed out. "Until freshman year when Thomas started spreading rumors that Laurens was a l-"

"Shut up!" Laurens barked. "I don't need to relive it all."

"So that was it?" Alex asked. "Just a rumor?"  
A fiery look went into Lauren's eyes as he put his hands on Alex's shoulders and stared right into his soul. "Listen. In freshman year, I had it all- captain of the lacrosse team, student council secretary, an almost perfect GPA and the more popularity than anyone else in the grade. Until motherfucking Thomas Jefferson had to come in and ruin everything! _Everything_!" He was fuming with rage.

Alex shook his head. "Damn."

"You folks need to be in lunch, at your table," One of the senior lunch monitors entered the bathroom, a peevish look on her face.

An evil grin spread across Lafayette's face before he ran at the monitor, screaming- "Vincent Cassel! I love your work!"

########

Alex arrived in the lunch room a little late and looked around frantically trying to find Laurens and Lafayette. Just as he started to panic, a girl with curly hair and cherry-red lipstick that matched her crop top stepped in front of him.

"Helloooo, new kid," She grinned slyly at him and ran her manicured hand through her hair.

Alex flushed. How did this girl know who he was?

"So…how many coconuts did you crack in the Caribbean?"

Alex, confused, shrugged and looked over his shoulder for a way out of this uncomfortable conversation. "Ummm…"

She winked at him. "Care to crack another one?"

"Um…excuse me?"

She only winked again and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Maria, back off," A snappy Southern accent interrupted this conversation. Alex whipped his head around to find Thomas Jefferson, in all his royal purple glory, standing up at his table.

Maria nervously giggled. "Come on, Thomas."

He turned to Alex. "Do you want to sleep with Miss Maria Lewis over here?"

Alex shook his head furiously.

"Good." He turned to Maria. "Now go back to sitting with your little boyfriend, slut." She quickly retreated into the lunchroom crowd. Then he turned to Alex. "Say, new kid- you want to sit with us? Just for today?"

Aaron Burr and James Madison's eyes went wide. It was clear that Thomas didn't make this offer very often.

What the hell did he have to lose?

He slowly nodded and pulled up a chair to sit across from the trio. He finally spotted Laurens, who slowly mouthed "What are you doing?" to him. Alex only had time to shrug back. Aaron and James examined him closely as he sat down, all Thomas gave him was a knowing glare.

"Welcome, new kid." Thomas welcomed him after a few awkward minutes. "You're…Alexander?"

"Yep. Alex."

"If you're from the Caribbean," James Madison asked meekly, "Why are you white?"

"Oh my god, James," Aaron Burr corrected. "You can't just ask someone why they're white."

Thomas rolled his eyes, pretending not to notice the comment.

"Well…" Aaron became serious. "If you want to sit with us, there are some things that you need to know."

"Like what?"

"Sweatpants are only allowed one day a week," Aaron began. "As are cheap tennis shoes. I guess you chose today," He pointed at Alex's feet, which were clad in brown Walmart sneakers.

"Watches, sunglasses and bling of any kind is not tolerated"

"But…" Alex pointed at Thomas, whose outfit displayed all three.

"Except for Thomas," James piped up. "Only he can wear those things."

"Why?"

James paled. "Don't question the authority."

"Why not?"

Thomas smirked. "You should join the debate team, newbie. Not many of our members are quite so young, scrappy and hungry."

"He's the captain," James pointed out.

"Newbie," Thomas was on Twitter, holding his cell phone vertically so all could see his French flag phone case. "Want to hang out with us after school? We're going to walk around downtown. Do come, it'll be fun."

Alex looked at Aaron and James, who looked earnestly at him expecting a response.

"Sure. I'll go with you."

Thomas grinned. "Meet me outside in the parking lot after school."

"Oh- one last thing. On Wednesdays, we wear pink," James interjected.

Alex was flabbergasted. "Uh…Pink?"

"It's to make a statement," Aaron explained. "Just make sure to wear pink tomorrow."

"Er…okay." The lunch bell rang through the cafeteria.

"See you later, newbie," Thomas waved as the Democratic Republicans strutted into the gathering crowd.

Alex sighed to himself. Had he just gotten himself three new friends or into one giant mess?

 **There you go, guys. Glad to hear some of you are loving it so far. I'll update when I can. In the meantime, be sure to let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, I was kind of shocked by the amount of positive reviews on this story. Thanks to them, here's another update. Sorry it took a bit longer to update. School is taking over my life.**

 **Disclaimer: My bank account is close to empty. I make no money off** ** _Mean Girls_** **or** ** _Hamilton_** **. None at all. Hard to believe, I know.**

"Seriously?" Laurens laughed hysterically. "They invited you to hang out? To sit with them? Oh my god!" He, Alex and Lafayette were talking at the end of the hallway, right next to the bathrooms.

"This is so unlike Thomas. I can't believe it." Lafayette shook his head.

"You need to tell me everything they say," Laurens commanded. "Everything. I work at the Bath, Bed and Beyond downtown, you can come find me afterwards. God, this is so great!" Laurens fist-bumped the air in triumph.

Alex looked confused. "Guys, I really don't see what you hate so much about Thomas Jefferson. He's…nice."

"Nice? Thomas Jefferson is not nice!" Laurens exploded. Lafayette put his hands on his shoulders to calm him down. "Alex, we went over this yesterday. And John, please. There's no need to try and tear him apart."

Laurens relaxed. "Listen, Alex. I just think it would be…fun, a fun little experiment if you hung out with the Democratic Republicans and tell us everything they say. Okay?"

"Alex!" Aaron and James passed by, dragging Alex away from Laurens and Lafayette before he could answer.

"Thomas is upstairs. He's waiting," James pointed out impatiently. "Hurry up, guys,"

Aaron and James started walking faster, Alex got the memo and began to speed-walk.

"Alex, why were you talking to them?" James asked, referring to Laurens and Lafayette.

Alex shrugged. "I…I don't know. They're pretty weird. Interesting people."

"Thomas and I used to be really good friends with John Laurens," Aaron continued. "But in freshman year he kind of went insane."

"What do you mean?"  
"Guys, hurry up!" James climbed the last stair to the third floor, the other two close behind him.

"So, Alex," Aaron said. "Have you seen any hot girls since you got here?"

Alex shrugged. "Well, there's this one girl in my calculus class…"

"Ooh! What's her name?" James asked.

"Eliza. Eliza Schuyler."

"Oh, no!" James cringed. "You can't like Eliza Schuyler!"

"What? What's wrong with her?"

"She's Thomas's ex-girlfriend," Aaron pointed out. "They dated for a solid six months and he was devastated when they broke up!"

"Didn't he dump her for Martha Wayles?"James asked.

Aaron waved him off. "Regardless, ex-girlfriends are off-limits. That's like, the rules of being in a group of friends!"

"Don't go near her," James suggested.

"Of course. I've never had a group of friends before, I promise that I'll make y'all proud." Alex stopped. "I'm actually headed to Calculus now, which is down this hall. See you two later!"

#########

Even though he wasn't allowed to like Eliza, it didn't mean he couldn't look at her. Or think about her. For the entire class period, Alex stared at the side of her flawless face and slick hair and thought about having meaningful, scholarly conversations with her. He could still talk to her, couldn't he?

Ms. Dandrige, who also happened to teach Honors Calculus but only for seventh period, dismissed the class. You can do it, you can do it, Alex thought as he reached out to touch Eliza's shoulder.

"Have you thought about joining the Mathletes yet?" Angelica Schuyler popped out in front of him. Alex sighed as he watched Eliza disappear through the door.

"Uh…not yet. I'll… I will get back to you, Angie. I have somewhere to be, see you later," Alex made his escape and raced to the parking lot.

##########

Leave it to Alex to find Eliza Schuyler again. This time she was standing near the field where the marching band and color guard were practicing, seemingly watching them. He wondered if she knew someone on the team.

She noticed Alex in the parking lot and waved genuinely. He waved back before being interrupted by a loud car horn.

"Get in, loser! We're going shopping!" Thomas was driving a red sports car, Aaron was next to him and James in the back. Alex reluctantly hopped in the back after casting one last look at Eliza.

##########

"So, newbie, how do you like Cherry Hill?" Thomas took a sip from his fresh chai latte.  
"It's good so far. I think I'm joining the Mathletes," Alex said to Aaron Burr while the four of them were walking in the downtown square.

"Oh my god, no! That's social suicide!" Thomas gasped. "Only the nerds sign up to be a Mathlete. Trust me, you don't want to be a nerd,"

"I don't?"

"No, you don't. You have a lot to learn, newbie. You're so lucky that you have us to guide you." Jefferson took a sip from his latte. Alex spotted Laurens working inside one of the stores. He seemed to be laughing his ass off. Rolling his eyes, Alex turned to the giant fountain in the center of the square.

"Oh my god. There's J.M Prevost," Burr exclaimed with scorn.

"Ooooooohhh," Thomas and James chorused.

"Who is he?" Alex asked.

"He's Theodosia's clingy ex-boyfriend," Aaron explained. "He's a little bitch. He tried to get her to kiss him right in front of me!"

A girl came by and took J.M.'s hand and Aaron eyed them with an angry glance.

"Hold up. J.M will not get away with being a passive-aggressive asshole. No. He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone."

Aaron obeyed. "Wait. You aren't going to call him, right?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"  
"No." Aaron took his coffee cup.

Thomas picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Prevost, 365 Tory Avenue?"

"Caller ID." Aaron rushed to Thomas' side.

"Not when you connect from information."

"Hello?" A woman who he assumed was J.M.'s mother's voice droned out of the phone.

"Hello, may I talk to Jacques Marcus Prevost, please?" Thomas put even more of an obnoxious twang on his voice. Alex's brow furrowed. Whatever Thomas was planning here couldn't be good.

"He isn't home yet, who's calling?"

"My name is Ricky from Cannabis City and I want to let you know that his shipment is ready for him to come pick up. Have him come soon, our supply is limited. It's urgent."

James and Aaron giggled as Thomas hung up the phone. "He won't be able to bother anybody anymore," Thomas sneered as the group turned to leave.

Alex looked guiltily back at J.M, who was laughing with a few friends by the fountain. He had no idea that he was going to be in some pretty goddamn deep water.

"Hurry up, newbie. We're going to my house," Thomas shouted over his shoulder.

#########

 **I was going to include the next scene in this update but I needed something to give you guys. Thomas' house is coming up in Chapter 4!**

 **And yes, all of my characters, even the supporting ones, are named after actual historical figures.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! If you like this chapter, let me know!**  
Not too long after that, the red car pulled up to an extravagant mansion with at least a dozen elegant white columns. A huge dome stretched across the top of the huge home. Alex's eyes bugged out of his head. Damn. He hadn't even known that houses could get so big. If he had seen that before he left the Caribbean, he would've thought that he had died and gone to heaven.

"Your house is really nice," Alex gushed.

"I know, right? Welcome to Monticello." Jefferson stepped out of the car, straightened his purple sweater and took off his black sunglasses.

"Monticello," Alex breathed. He still couldn't believe what he was in front of.

"You gotta check out his mom's face," James opened his car door. "Plastic surgery made her nose huge," He and Aaron giggled as Thomas shot them an angry glance. Alex couldn't help but feel sympathy for Thomas for a second. His mom was a whore. He knew how that felt.

Thomas led the group through the gigantic doors into a living room that was bigger than three houses put together in Nevis.

"Hey, Jane!" Thomas waved to a girl sitting on the couch.

Jane stopped putting on red lipstick and looked up at the group. "Hi!"

"Hey, friends!" Thomas's mother ran up to the group, "How are you all doing? Need anything?" James was right, she had definitely had plastic surgery on her nose. She was wearing more than enough makeup and her bra showed though her tank top.

"Hi, Mrs. Jefferson!" James greeted her.

"Mom, this is Alex," Thomas said over his shoulder.

"Welcome!" She pulled him into a hug and Alex could feel her breast implants. "If you need anything, let me know. I'm not a regular mom, I'm a _cool_ mom." She turned to Thomas. "Tommy, show Alex your room!"

He nodded, starting to walk up the stairs before turning to his mom, who was following him.

"Mom, can you go fix your hair now?"  
"Oh, of course," She scurried away before Jefferson led the group into a room bigger than Alex's entire old house.

"Your room is huge," Alex gasped.

Thomas shrugged. "It was my parent's room, but I made them switch." He put his bag on his bed and breathed deeply.

Aaron walked over to a Bluetooth speaker and turned it on. Bouncy rap music came blaring out, and the three friends bobbed their heads to it.

"Alex, do you even know who sings this song?" Thomas asked.

Alex smiled awkwardly. "One Direction?"  
Thomas laughed. "You're so funny. Just like an alien."

"Oh, I remember this!" James walked over to Thomas' bookshelf and pulled out a thick book.

"Oh yeah!" Thomas and Aaron crowded around him, peering at it as he opened to the first page.

"What's that?" Alex asked.

"These are our Federalist Papers." James giggled.

"What are the Federalist Papers?"

"We cut out pictures from the yearbook and wrote snarky things about all the kids in our grade," Thomas explained.

"David Brearly-" Aaron read. "Made out with a hot dog."

Thomas and James collapsed into laughter as Aaron turned the page.

"Thomas Mifflin is a fat virgin."

"Still half true." Thomas pointed out.

Alex stood to the side, trying to ignore the conversation. Some of these comments were getting really mean.

"John Laurens- well, John Whore-ens."

Alex's quickly turned around to see that that cruel name was indeed written in the book. _Holy god damn_. He tried not to let his shock show on his face.

"Who's the kid in the back?" James asked, pointing to Lafayette, who was sitting behind Laurens in the photo.

"That's Lafayette," Alex said nervously. "Supposedly he's too French to function."

"Put that in," Thomas commanded Aaron, who dutifully grabbed a pen.

Alex's face flushed. Uh oh. Maybe it was only okay when Laurens said it.

#############

"So they have this big book called the Federalist Papers," Alex explained to Laurens a little while later. He had Thomas drop him off at the mall so he could talk to Laurens and Lafayette about what he had seen and heard during his day with the Democratic-Republicans. "Where they write mean things about all the kids in our grade."

"What does it say about me?" Laurens asked.

Alex sucked in his breath, remembering what was written in that book. "You're not in it."

Laurens shook his head. "Those bitches."

"Hey, look who vit vis." Lafayette pointed to Ms. Dandrige, who was looking at a stand of coffee mugs in the corner of Bed, Bath and Beyond.

She approached the students. "Hey, kids! John, I didn't know you worked here." She was carrying a stash of books and was wearing a waitress apron.

Laurens shrugged. "Been a cashier for five months now. This place isn't bad. I get free toiletries."

"He likes it because they give him soap dispensers in shapes of turtles," Lafayette jeered.

"Shut up!" Laurens shouted.

"By the way," Ms. Dandrige pointed out. "I'm not here to buy anything, I work occasional shifts at TGI Fridays upstairs. That's me- working three jobs and still not paying the bills."

Lafayette pretended to cough. "And still single," Ms. Dandrige shot him a look.

"Well, see you boys on Tuesday!" She turned around and left the store.

"Guys." Alex sighed. "I can't keep doing this. I can't continue spying on them. It's just…weird."

"Come on," Laurens hissed. "I'm just saying, it would be…fun if you kept hanging out with the Democratic Republicans and told us everything they said."

"You told me the same thing yesterday."

"It still applies today. Just do it. At least for the rest of the week."

Alex groaned. "Fine. Do you own anything pink?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Alex and Laurens turned to look at Lafayette, who awkwardly grinned.

Alex checked his watch. "Well, I have to skedaddle. My ride is here." Hercules was picking him up in five minutes.

"No! We'll come with you!" Laurens stood up. "I can leave my shift for a few minutes. "My boss doesn't give a flying shit."

"You really don't have to do that." Alex tried to reason with him.

"We're coming." Lafayette practically dragged him out of the store.

########

Hercules was already waiting for Alex in his Honda Civic when they arrived at the parking lot.

"Nice car your folks got, Alex." Lafayette nudged him.

"Wait. Is that Hercules Mulligan in the car?" Laurens squinted to see through the windows. "Where do you know him from?"

"He…he's just giving me a ride today." How was he supposed to explain to Laurens that he lived with him?  
"Well, see you tomorrow." Laurens and Lafayette turned around after Alex hopped into the car. Throughout the whole ride home, one thought kept running through his mind.

What would happen if Thomas found out the truth?

 **Sorry if my updates are getting inconsistent. I have school, extracurriculars and other writing projects to deal with. Also, I seem to be running out of ideas. I think I need to watch Mean Girls again.**

 **If you liked it please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! I am so sorry for the ridiculously long wait. My parents took away my laptop for a while and school got in the way. To those of you who stuck with me, thanks so much! Here's Chapter Five!**

 **And to the user who mentioned it, yes, Hamilton staying with Hercules Mulligan and Mulligan not knowing Laurens and Lafayette did happen in history! While at King's College, Hamilton needed someone to stay with so he lived with his friend Hercules Mulligan. And I know for a fact that Laurens and Mulligan didn't meet personally. If there's any other historical mentions you guys spot be sure to point them out!**

The pitter-patter of rain against his window woke Alex the next morning.

He shoved his head back under his pillow. After the hurricane, he _hated_ rain. Not just hated. He was afraid of rain and most bodies of water that were higher than a few feet. He'd seen the damage that it could do.

Hercules burst into his bedroom. "Alex, come on! The bus will be here in ten minutes!"

Alex leaped out of bed. He had his outfit prepared- a pair of jeans, some cheap sneakers (he had to hope that they looked expensive to Thomas) and… Lafayette's tight, glittery pink shirt.

Sighing, Alex reluctantly pulled the top over his head. It looked ridiculous. He hoped that Lafayette never wore this shirt to school by choice.

After hiding under an umbrella to the bus stop and into the school building, Alex scanned the halls for the Democratic Republicans, ignoring any strange looks that he got.

He didn't find them, but he did find a flyer on the wall that seemed intriguing.

 **Hey Cherry Hill students! Love arguing and proving your point? Debate Team tryouts are Wednesday, September 7th in room 3302 from four to five thirty. Contact President Thomas Jefferson for more details.**

Alex smiled. He was trying out for the debate team.

"And if we take away all taxes, then public services will also decline, and in the end the nation would end up having to pay more than what they had to pay in tax dollars for things like healthcare and repairs,"

Alex wasn't feeling completely in his zone, as he was still wearing Lafayette's spandex glitter top, but he was always good at arguing with people. The topic was Paying Taxes and so far he seemed to be hitting the nail on the head.

Thomas Jefferson actually looked a bit impressed. "Newbie, I don't know where that came from, but you didn't even hesitate. Great job. I thought you were too shy to do this but I have been proven very wrong."

Alex grinned. Shy wasn't the word that most people used to describe him.

"I'm definitely going to consider giving you a spot on the team. I'll email you the list of new members," Jefferson gave him a sly smile and dismissed him.

Which is why Alex was extremely confused when Hercules Mulligan ran into his room with the house phone in his hand.

"It's Thomas Jefferson." Even Hercules, an athlete generally unconcerned with popularity, knew everything about Thomas. "He says he wants to talk to you."

Alex gleefully took the phone. He had no clue how Thomas got his number, but he could care less at the moment. Maybe Thomas had made his decision early!

"I know your secret, newbie."

Alex froze. _What?_ Had he already found out that he was spying on him and his friends for Laurens and Lafayette? Did he know that he lived with Hercules Mulligan? That his mom was a whore, his dad has left and his hometown was destroyed?

He had to play it cool. "What secret?"

"Aaron told me that you like Eliza Schuyler."

The nervous bubble inside Alex popped. Ah. It was only about Eliza.

"I mean, it's fine, you can do what you want, but lemme tell you about Eliza. She's sweet and all, but all she cares about are her grades, her chorale group and her stupid baby sisters- the math nerd and the smart freshman on the Color Guard. "

"Is that bad?" Didn't school and family come before anything else?

"But if you like her, whatever. I can talk to her for you if you want."

Alex was shocked at his offer. "Really? You would do that? Just… nothing embarrassing, right?"

"Oh, of course not." Alex couldn't help but hear a sinister tone underlying that last sentence. He hoped Thomas was really as nice as he seemed…

"But aren't you so mad at Aaron for telling me?"

Alex shook his head. "Well, no, not really."

"Because if you are, you can tell me. Aaron isn't allowed in the room where it happens."

"I guess it was a bit mean, but I'm not mad. I guess he just wants the attention."

"Funny. My personal slogan is 'talk less, smile more,'" Aaron said over the line.

A chill ran down Alex's spine. _This was a three-way call_!

"See, Aaron?" Thomas chirped. "Alex isn't mad at you! Love ya! See you tomorrow!" And with that, Thomas Jefferson hung up the phone.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. He had survived his first three-way calling attack, but he had a feeling this wasn't the end of the drama.

 **I wrote this entire thing in about an hour so I'm sorry if it isn't very high quality. This definitely isn't one of my best, but I hope everyone enjoyed my long-overdue update!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm baaaaaaaaack!**

 **Thanks again for all the reviews!  
In honor of fall starting here comes the Halloween storyline ;)**

 **Disclaimer: Pretty positive I'm not Lin or Tina. I own nothing.**

#############

With Thomas' blessing, Alex began talking to Eliza more and more. At first it was only small things, about the date or the weather, but one Friday in late October Alex decided to do something he never thought he would do.

He would pretend to be wrong.

Summoning his courage, he reached out to tap Eliza on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me?"

She smiled, her pink cheeks glowing. "This is a sine. In order to solve the function, you have to use the opposite and hypotenuse of the triangle."

Bur Alex wasn't lost. He knew everything Ms. Dandridge was talking about. But he relished in every second that Eliza spent explaining the lesson to him.

After class finished and mostly everyone else had left the classroom Eliza turned around again "We're having a Halloween party at my house tonight. You want to come?"  
Alex's eyes widened. "Yep. Sure."

She handed her a piece of paper. "Here's the address. And it's a costume party. Some people get pretty into it. And hey- that invitation is for one person only. Don't bring some other girl with you." She turned and left the room, leaving Alex speechless with glee.

"Hey, New Kid. You staying for the Mathletes meeting?" Alex turned to find Angelica Schuyler setting up the classroom.

He smiled politely. "Actually, I've got to go. Sorry."

She grinned, her retainer showing. "It's okay. Just try and make the next meeting. Are you going to our Halloween party tonight? Do come. Eliza's been working really hard on it."

"Yeah, I am. See you." Alex made his escape. He kept forgetting that Angelica was Eliza's sister. They seemed nothing alike. But he didn't have time to think about Angelica. He had to go home and work on his costume.

#########

After searching through his meager amount of clothing, he discovered he had nothing to wear to the Halloween party. But after plopping onto his bed to think it over, Alex heard a small whirring sound coming from down the hall.

He sat up and listened harder. It sounded a bit like a sewing machine.

 _Who is sewing? Mrs. Mulligan? A seamstress nobody told me about?_

Confused, Alex opened Hercules's bedroom door to ask him. His eyes widened at what he saw.

Because there was Hercules, bent over a sheet of fabric, guiding a sewing machine along the garment's edge at the speed of light.

Hercules looked up and seeing Alex there he quickly turned off the machine and tried to hide what he was making.

"Herc…"

"Don't ask." Hercules snapped.

"Herc, you gotta tell me why you are sewing a big long piece of cream-colored fabric."

He sighed. "Fine. I know I'm supposed to be a jock and only care about sports and crap, but… I love sewing. My parents got me a machine when I was thirteen and I've sewed dozens of garments. It's something I enjoy. Just…please don't tell anyone. I'll get laughed off the lacrosse team." He shuddered just picturing the thought. Alex felt sympathy for him. After only a few weeks in high school he had seen what something as simple as a love for crafting could do to one's public image.

"Sure. But…could you do me a favor first?"

############

Six hours later, Alex and Hercules has succeeded in revamping one of Mr. Mulligan's old suits- quite literally- and fixing Alex's hair and makeup until he transformed into one of the most convincing Count Dracula on the streets of Cherry Hill. He hoped there was a costume contest at the Schuylers' party that night.

Sadly, Alex hadn't realized what real Halloween was like in America. It didn't involve fun costumes or trick-or-treating. In high school world, Halloween was the one day a year in which you could dress like a total douchebag and nobody else got to say everything.

Well, for Thomas Jefferson, that was every day of the year. But even he overdid it on that night. He was dressed in a royal blue overcoat with a dark purple cape, which left a trail of glitter wherever he went. Whenever someone asked who he was intending to be, he responded with "George Washington, bitch" and handed them a goody bag filled with glitter and rose petals.

Unfortunately, nobody had told Alex about this douche rule. So instead of dressing in a purple cape covered in bling, he showed up in a long black one with a choker.

After scaring a person off a fence in front of the Schuyler's house, Alex entered desperate to find Eliza. After searching for a while and finding nothing but sagged pants, popped collars and occasional glitter, he retreated to the snack table. The only other person there was a girl who looked younger than everyone else at the party scrolling through her cell phone.

Upon seeing Alex approach, the girl turned off her phone and smiled. "Are you enjoying the party?" She shouted over the noise of the crowd.

"Uh…yeah. Are you?"

"I am, but none of my guard friends are here, plus I'm on cleaning duty later."

"None of your friends are here and what?"

"Come on," The girl grabbed Alex's hand and dragged him into the hallway. "That's better. I'm Peggy, Eliza and Angelica's baby sister. And you?"  
"My name is Alexander Hamilton. I'm from Nevis and I'm a junior."

She stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Alexander."

"Now…what else were you saying out there?"

"Oh. I was saying that it was too bad that I have to clean this dump later."

"Will your sisters not help you?"

She laughed. "They will, but they will stop after ten minutes and I will have to clean up everything and come up with a cover story to my parents. They knew Eliza was having a get-together but they have no clue it is this big."  
"Oh. That sucks."

Peggy sighed. "I'm just… I feel like I'm always ignored, you know? At school I skipped a grade, so nobody knows who the hell I am, and at home it's always Eliza this, Angelica that. Eliza has a concert, Angelica has a Mathlete competition. Doo de doo de da. Well, guess what? My mom only came to a single hour of one of my band competitions. Only Eliza occasionally watches me practice. Nobody wants to watch my rifle routine or help me with my math homework or talk to me about high school. It's frustrating." She suddenly giggled. "I have no clue why I'm talking to you, I've known you for about five minutes. You seem easy to talk to, I guess."

"Uh…sure. Thanks."

"I should probably let you get back to the party. See you around, Alexander."

He waved and slipped back into the living room, where he finally found Aaron and James standing in a corner. Giddy, he approached them, almost falling over his cape.

James jumped. "Why are you dressed so scary?" He asked meekly.

Alex shrugged, adjusting his vampire mouthpiece with his tongue. "It's Halloween."

"Halloween doesn't have to be so scary," Aaron offered. "Have you seen Theo?"

"You know who's looking fine tonight?" James looked intently into the crowd. He looked at Aaron, who shook his head wildly. "Nevermind."

Eliza approached the group. "Hey, Alex. You made it!"  
He grinned wildly, his fake teeth baring.

"And you are…a vampire?"

"Dracula."

"Love it. Can I get you a drink? We have sodas."

"You have diet Coke?"

"Yep. I'll be right back." She winked before disappearing into the crowd.

But as she approached the snack table, out of the corner of his eye Alex noticed Thomas Jefferson strutting up to her. He relaxed. He could trust Thomas. Couldn't he?

But as Thomas continued to talk to her, her expression darkened. She turned to look at Alex with a look of disgust.

He was confused. What had Thomas said? He had told him that he would talk to Eliza, maybe this was it.

 _How could Laurens hate Thomas? He was just such a good…_

At that moment, Thomas pulled Eliza into a luxurious kiss.

 _SLUT!_

The rest of the party seemed to fade into a blur and the only thing Alex could see clearly was Thomas kissing Eliza over and over again, and Eliza seemingly enjoying it. He felt like screaming. How could Thomas do this to him? He hated Thomas. He hated him.

He rushed out of the party, ignoring all of the strange looks he got. Alex didn't stop until he reached Lauren's backyard.

##########

"Oh, look. The little girl's going into the tel-vission again," Laff pointed out the TV screen. They were sitting in Lauren's basement, doing their favorite Halloween activity- binge-watching horror films.

"Shut up!" Laurens snapped, deeply immersed in the movie.

The girl in the movie was sitting in front of a mid-twentieth century television set. Now colors were appearing, then more, then someone was coming out of the screen…

Alex burst through the door, his spooky reflection causing Laurens to jump and Lafayette to curse in French and fling the popcorn bowl over the couch.

"He took her back," Alex seethed. "Thomas took Eliza back."

"Oh, no, Hammy," Laurens stood up and Lafayette paused the movie.

"Why- why would he do that?"

"Because he's evil. He's a life ruiner."

"When we were freshman," Lafayette interjected. "He made people sign this petition saying that Laurens was…"

"Laff! I'm gay, get over it!"

Alex cocked his head. "You're gay?"

"But that isn't even what he wrote the petition for!" Lafayette shouted.

"That is beside the point!" Laurens shot back before turning to Alex. "Look. He isn't going to get away with this again, alright? We are going to do something."

"We are?"

########

"Thomas Jefferson is an evil dictator." Laurens had assembled Alex and Lafayette in a circle around a chalkboard with "Steps to Coup d'état" written on it. "In order to overthrow a dictator, you need to cut off his resources. One- hot girlfriend, two- extracurricular and social positions, and three- his loyal band of 'friends'. But, Hammy- in order for this plan to work, you need to pretend like nothing ever happened. Can you do that?"

Alex nodded nervously.

Laurens grinned. "Let's do this, bitches."

 **Sorry it took so long! My workload at school is increasing, but just as a little treat I decided to finish this early.**

 **Review/DM me with any praise, criticism or suggestions!**


	7. Chapter 7

**32 reviews! What? Thank you guys SO much for all the support, I am just as excited about where this story is headed as you are. I'm sorry it took so long.**

 **Disclaimer: Lin Manuel-Miranda and Tina Fey ≠ me.**

Pretending that nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. Aaron "apologized" to him the next day on Thomas' behalf, claiming that he never intended to hook up with Eliza. Alex knew it was total bullshit, but he pasted on a smile and told Aaron that he wasn't mad at Thomas.

That didn't mean he couldn't be sneaky. First up on the Sabotage Lineup- generously offering Thomas hair gel that would (hopefully) make his curls frizz up to the ceiling. Laurens cut holes in Thomas's jacket during gym, and Laff replaced his coffee with hot chocolate milk with three shots of French-imported prune juice.

But vengeance would soon be served much faster than that.

Because the first debate team meeting was Friday afternoon.

Thomas released the list of members who had made the cut Monday morning and, sure enough, Alex's name was smack dab in the middle. He was ready to prove himself as a more-than-solid debater as well as someone Thomas needed to look out for.

He hoped that he would get to argue with Thomas.

"Alright, y'all, welcome to the very first Cherry Hill Debate Team meeting." Thomas Jefferson stood in the center of a classroom filled with excited students. Alex sat next to Aaron and James, who looked very ready to start the meeting.

"You could have been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here in the Auditorium. I am ecstatic to be in charge this year and I hope y'all are ready to get started!"

The room erupted in cheers.

"First, each of you will be put into pairs and will come up to the front of the room to defend your point on a topic I choose."

Aaron raised his hand. "Are you choosing our partners?"

"Yes." Thomas stoutly responded. Aaron gave him a hard look.

"The issue on the table…" Thomas picked up a dry erase marker and turned to the whiteboard. "Should tablets be provided for the students at Cherry Hill or not?"

"Yes, they should!" John Jay exclaimed.

Thomas laughed. "John, it's too bad I am picking your stance. And your partner. I think I will put you with… James Madison. James, you are for the tablets, John, you are against."

James timidly stood up and walked over to John, who looked a little pissed off.

"Thomas," Aaron spoke up. "Can I be with Theo?"

Theodosia waved at him from the back of the room. She and Angelica Schyler were the only girls on the team.

Thomas shook his head. "I think the two ladies should be together, see if they can include themselves in the sequel. Theo for yes, Angie no."

Angelica held out her hand for Theo to high five, and she halfheartedly returned it.

"And Aaron…I'll put you with Newbie. Alexander."

Aaron's mouth went into a tight line.

"Aaron, yes; Alexander, no. Got it? Great. Now, Ben and John…"

Alexander didn't hear anything else Thomas said. He couldn't wait to argue with Aaron.

#########

"As technology and the internet become more and more of a part in student's lives, it only makes sense that academics can keep up to that." It was Aaron and Alex's turn to debate, and Aaron was getting off to a strong start.

"If we give every student at the school a tablet, it enables them to participate in interactive activities with their peers, which generates motivation. Their teachers can contact them directly, so less kids will forget when their assignments are due. Also, the teachers can check to see if students are indeed taking notes, which will further push students to do their work and, in turn, succeed, both in high school and out. Lastly, environmental aid is an added bonus, as the number of trees that are cut down will be reduced if the students at Cherry Hill complete their assignments online."

The room applauded nicely as Aaron finished his point.

"Hamilton?" Jefferson gestured to him. "Your response?"

Alex took a deep breath.

"Aaron, that was a real nice declaration. But this is a school, a public school, and not all of us have big piles of money to spend on tablets. I sure don't. I'm pretty positive the county doesn't, either. Insurance for the devices would be sleazy and expensive. I doubt it would cover the hundreds of tablets that are sure to be dropped and broken by students. There are so many more ways to get distracted on a tablet more so than a pen and paper, such as social media or playing on an app, which would result in a decrease in attention rather than increase. Also, the students have to charge their devices every night so the battery is full for the next day, so class would be halted and students would fall behind if they forgot to plug theirs it, which many will. It would be difficult for teachers to maneuver the hundreds of tablets for their students so they would actually check homework and notes less often. Cyberbullying will run amok if every student has their own device, giving students more electronic freedom will only increase the issue. Finally, more people using electronic devices would actually be worse for the environment and our health, as radio waves will continue spreading into the atmosphere, tearing holes in the ozone. The idea is terrible and that is the end, if it is not the end of us."

Aaron's mouth hung open. Everyone in the room looked at each other. They had not been expecting an answer like that from Alex.

Alex smiled. He had shown the debate team where his shoe fit.

Thomas went up to the front of the room. "Alex, man…those were some great points you made there."

He nodded, seeing what was coming next.

"It's almost the end of this meeting, but…do you want to debate with me next week?"

Alex looked at Thomas in shock before a sly grin spread across his face.

Next week he was going to have to pull out all the stops.

 **It's almost midnight- I barely made my deadline! I have also never been on a debate team, so if anybody has and knows that I am describing it incorrectly let me know.**

 **The Thomas/Alex debate is going to be Cabinet Battle worthy, and get ready for more sabotage against T-Jeff.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! Guess who forgot about this story? Meeeeeeeee!**

 **I know, it's been way too long, I know. But I'm back and (dun dun dun) the debate is here!**

 **Disclaimer: I have not suddenly become Lin or Tina while I was absent :/**

The week afterwards seemed to move way too quickly, and all of a sudden Alex was waking up on the morning of his debate with Thomas Jefferson.

He had honestly not felt more stressed since he moved to Cherry Hill. Yes, he knew it was stupid to be worrying over something like this, but he was too proud to lose to anyone. Especially someone like Thomas Jefferson.

Part of him wanted to stay in bed or maybe fake sick. He actually debated this in his mind before coming to the verdict that someone needed to beat Thomas and Thomas wasn't going to destroy himself.

That was up to Alex.

As the day went on, Alex's nervousness wore off and was replaced with excited anticipation. By calculus, he was bouncing up and down in his seat.

"Pumped for the debate today?" Eliza whispered to him.

"You bet!" Alex responded way too loudly. All the heads in the room turned as Alex turned red.

"Mr. Hamilton," Ms. Dandrige spoke sharply. "Is my class so boring to you that you have to shout to your peers?"

Alex shook his head. "No, m'aam." He let out a nervous giggle and then broke into uncontrollable laughter.

She sighed. "And for that, you have a detention, Alexander."

He stopped laughing. "What?" _Detention?!_

"Yes. You will stay after school for fifteen minutes and help me scrape gum off the bottoms of the desks. I really need a person to help with that. Seems students cannot put their gum in the trash these days."

"So I have to stay?" Alex asked shakily.

"Yes, Alex." The bell rang, and the other students rushed out of the room.

"Ms Dandrige, you don't understand," Alex pleaded. "I have somewhere I need to be!"

She handed him a flat utensil. "You need to learn to control your mouth, Alex. You won't get too far in life if you don't."

"That's not true!" Alex challenged angrily.

"See! Right there. Alex, I understand that you've been through some things in your past, but lashing out at people won't solve anything. Do you understand?"

Alex slowly nodded.

She nodded. "Good. Now, get to work!

############

Exactly sixteen minutes later, Alexander Hamilton breathlessly burst into room 3302, interrupting a vanilla debate between Theodosia and John Jay.

"Well, look who decided to show up," Thomas said smugly. "What took so long?"

"Detention," Alex hissed, sitting in the back of the room.

"How was it? I've never gotten a detention, ever."

 _Of course he hasn't_. Alex glared at him.

Thomas gave him a wink before turning back to Theo and John. "Continue, please."

Angie Schyler looked around timidly before rising from her seat and plopping down in the seat next to Alex's. "So…how was detention?"  
"What?"  
"How was detention? What did Dandrige make you do?"  
"Oh, just clean the desks and shit. It wasn't too long, though."

"Are you ready for the debate?"

"Heck yes!"

"Alex, please be quiet until it is your turn to debate." Thomas snapped from the front of the room.

Angelica flushed. "I-I'm sorry. That was my fault, wasn't it?"  
"No, Angie, don't worry. You're fine. I shouldn't have yelled."

"Okay!" Thomas announced. "Time for y'all to vote-who made the better argument- Theodosia?"

Alex and Angie both stuck their hands up even though they hadn't listened to the debate.

"Or John Jay…"

Three hands in the room went up.

"Theo, you win! Congratulations!" The room applauded and Theo smiled.

"God damnit, I am so unappreciated here!" John declared.

"Shut up, John Jay. And now… Mr. Alexander Hamilton and I will go head to head in this debate!"

Angelica nudged Alex as the room erupted in cheers.

"The topic today will be…"

The whole room leaned forwards in anticipation.

"Should the United States deport people who do not have the birthright?"

Thomas smirked at Hamilton in a nasty way. "We'll flip a coin. Which side?"

"Tails." Alex grumbled. The rest of the room was fading, turning into a blur, with Jefferson the only thing he could see clearly.

Thomas flipped the coin. "It's heads. I am for it, Hamilton against. I'll start. Put me on the clock, James."

James obeyed, and the debate finally began.

"I think they should. Well, we should deport some people. And by some people I am mostly referring to people from the island of St. Croix, Nevis. But all immigrants apply."

Tears of anger clouded Alex's eyes as he gave Jefferson a death stare.

"The United States is already overcrowded as it is. People- people who were born here, people who should have all the rights we have- are out there on the streets. It's because the immigrants are taking their jobs. They are taking our healthcare, our positions, our homes. And we are letting this invasion happen- illegal aliens taking what is rightfully ours- with no more than a second glance. I back an automatic deportation of all the immigrants of America who do not have the birthright and those who do not love our country". Thomas gave Hamilton a sinister wink. "It's only a safety precaution- some of those immigrants might be terrorists- or worse, whoresons and violent, raging lunatics. I rest my case."

The room exploded in cheers. Alex's whole face was bright red and it was taking every part of him not to scream. Now he finally saw what Laurens and Lafayette had- not only was Thomas Jefferson snoopish and a bit of a stalker, but he was also a terrible friend, willing to drop you like a sack of potatoes, and quite possibly meanest person on the planet- and that's counting the bastards in Nevis.

"Alex, you will get five minutes to come up with a counter-argument. It better be fantastic!" Hamilton said with mock enthusiasm. Alex swore that he could see his eyes turn black for an instant.

Thomas really was the embodiment of Satan. Alex wouldn't be surprised if his middle name was actually Lucifer. He had somehow found out all this information about Alex and then used it against him in front of all his friends and people that he didn't even know. Thomas Jefferson was sleazy, offensive and toxic. Alex saw why Laurens told him to stay away.

But this wasn't a time to escape. Alex was going to stay and drag Thomas Jefferson through the mud.

"Thomas fucking Jefferson, you must be out of your goddamn mind!"

The entire room gasped at Alex's sudden outburst. They didn't realize that he was just getting started.

"This nation is a place made up of immigrants, from sea to shining sea. Our founding fathers came over here on a ship. So did every president we've ever had and so did your ancestors. I'm sure your elders are ashamed to be related to a biased, ungrateful creature like you. Nobody is "taking" those jobs from Americans- people just have to lose them sometimes, no matter what ethnicity they are. It's inevitable. And- for someone so concerned with other people taking the US's land, did it ever occur to you that the Americans just swung in and took the land from the Native Americans? Those who have lived here for millions of years?"

Alex got closer to Thomas, nearly spitting with anger. "That's right! Immigrants are not worthless! They have done more for this country than a bastard like you ever will!"

For a few seconds Thomas (not to mention the rest of the room) was stunned into silence. Once the evil fire came back into his eyes, he turned back to Alex.

"It's funny to hear that from someone who is much more of a bastard than I".

Alex threw himself at Thomas and for the next few minutes he could hear nothing but echoed shouting and his own ragged breaths. He wanted to destroy Thomas Jefferson with every ounce of his being. He didn't stop even when he felt someone else trying to pull him off.

"Stop, stop!" Suddenly Principal Washington was over the two, shoving them away from each other. "Mr. Jefferson- take a walk! Mr. Hamilton- take a _walk_! This is debate team, not a wrestling match. Cut it out!"

Alex slowly scanned the room. All eyes were on him. Angelica seemed frozen in pure shock, her hands tightly clenched together, and there was already a school photographer recording the event. But worst of all, Thomas, although he seemed a little shaken up, was still giving him the same teasing glare that he did when Alex first met him.

"Alex," Mr. Washington commanded, " _A word_."

 **Look, guys, I updated! I hope you aren't too mad at me for waiting four months. Life got in the way. It happens. I have no clue what the next chapter is going to be like, so don't expect a quick update next time.**

 **I might take my Glee stories off of this site because they are utter crap and horrifically inaccurate and maybe twenty people are following both of them combined. If I'm going to start a new story I will probably stick to Hamilton. If you read my Glee fanfiction and aren't happy about that feel free to DM me.**

 **Until next time.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey! Did anyone know that Mean Girls was based off of Julius Caesar? I totally didn't.**

 **Disclaimer: Still don't own anything!**

Alex's heart was still beating out of his chest when Principal Washington led him down the hallway. Most of the school was empty, but the people who were still there gave Alex confused, questioning glances. With stinging eyes, he looked at the floor, ignoring the people watching the spectacle.

He was in trouble. He absolutely hated being in trouble. Alex didn't even understand why he was there. Thomas started the whole goddamn thing.

Mr. Washington swiftly opened the door to his office and instructed Alex to have a seat.

"Mr. Hamilton," He started. "What…was that?"

Alex just shrugged.

You're in debate, not on the wrestling team. What happened in there was ridiculous."

"But…"

"Whatever Thomas did or said, there really wasn't a reason for you to try and hurt him"

"He called me a whoreson and a bastard and said I deserved to be deported."

Washington inhaled sharply. "I'll speak to him later. However, there's going to have to be some sort of punishment for what happened this afternoon."

Alex panicked. "What kind of punishment? Detention? I will gladly serve a detention. Give me five, ten, fifteen detentions. I don't care."

"I have to give you two days of ISS for the attempted assault of Thomas Jefferson, Alexander."

"What's that?"

"In-school suspension. You come to school but you aren't permitted to go to your classes or leave my office."

"When?"

"Next Monday and Tuesday. I'll give you a note that one of your guardians has to sign."

"But fights happened while I was in Nevis all the time, and suspension didn't even exist there!"

Mr. Washington sighed. "Alex, I know how difficult your situation is. And Thomas Jefferson- he's one of the most narcissistic, self-absorbed students I have ever had to deal with."

"He's terrible! He's so, so, terrible!'

"You haven't met his parents, Alexander. His mother will probably be in here later complaining that you don't have a more severe punishment."

"If you understand, then why am I getting ISS?"

"It's the rules, Alex. But I'm on your side here. I think you are a very bright and capable student and that you have a lot to learn. If you ever need anything, you can come and talk to me. Talking to someone is better than trying to knock your enemies' brains out." He handed Alex a slip of paper. "Have an adult sign this and bring it to me on Monday. Have a good weekend, Mr. Hamilton."

Alex took the sheet and walked out of the school to wait for Hercules. He didn't look back once. Mr. Washington didn't understand. Nobody did. Nobody would ever understand him unless he could channel his anger another way.

That was the day that Alex decided to never use his fists again. From then on, if he wanted to I get back at somebody it would be only through words.

###########

"Hercules," Alex asked Herc on the ride home. "Is it alright if you sign something for me?"

"What exactly is it, Alexander?"

Alex was silent, choosing to look out the window.

"Alex!"  
"Would you?

"I don't see why not. What is it?"

Alex sighed. "I got ISS today."

Hercules slammed on the brake. He was greeted with several honking horns but he was too surprised to care.

"ISS? Seriously, Alexander? What the fuck did you do?"

"I fought Thomas Jefferson for calling me a whoreson and a bastard."

"Aren't you used to that, Alex?"

"I usually tried to hurt anyone who calls me those names. Nobody cares down in Nevis."

"You're really lucky that there wasn't a larger punishment for that, Alex. At least ISS doesn't stay on your record."

"I know."

"Can you promise me that you will never do it again?"

"I promise, Herc."

"Thank you, Alex. I will gladly sign the sheet for you. I don't want to worry my parents like that. They really like having you around, you know?"

"I know."

They drove in silence until Alex's phone rang.

"Who is it?"

Alex signed. "Angelica."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's in my math class and on debate. She is sweet but can be really annoying sometimes."

"She's a sophomore. Most are. Just pick up the phone.

Alex did, only to be greeted with a hysterically crying Angelica.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Angie, what happened?"

"Thomas is cheating on Eliza!" She sobbed.

Thomas and Eliza rejuvenated their relationship ever since the Halloween party and had been inseparable since then.

"What?"

"He was at our house with Eliza. I went into my closet to retrieve some shirts I had put on the top of it. But while I was in there, Thomas bolted into my room and locked the door. Before I could do anything, he dialed a number on his phone and started talking to some girl named Martha and told her how excited he was that she was coming over to his house tonight!"

"Oh, no."

"And then they started talking dirty. _Really_ dirty. It was terrible, terrible, terrible! I hid in my closet for almost an hour before he left. Oh, feel _terrible_ for Eliza and I don't know how to tell her about what happened!"

"Oh, my god." Poor Eliza.

"What should I do, Alex? I don't know what to do!"

Suddenly, something clicked in Alex's brain.

"Don't tell your sister anything, Angie."

"What?"

"Let me take care of it. I know exactly what to do."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll see you in class."

With that, Alex hung up the phone and immediately shot Laurens a text-

"Call me tonight. Part 1 of the plan is in motion."

 **Part 10 is coming soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm finally back. Yippee. I'm SO sorry for the astronomically long wait. After all this time, I have two things to say:**

 **1) I saw Hamilton on tour this week and it was one of the best two hours and fifty-five minutes of my life. Absolutely incredible. It also inspired me to pick this story up again.**

 **2) They took Mean Girls off of Netflix! How dare they? Totally not fetch of them.**

 **Enough of my banter. At last, here's Chapter 10-**

 **Disclaimer: Even though it's been over a year, I still haven't acquired the rights to Hamilton or Mean Girls.**

"Alex, are you going to homecoming?" Laurens asked Alex before school Monday morning.

"What's that?"

"It's a dance. Haven't you ever been to a school dance, Hammy?"

"No. What is that?"

"Oooooh Hammy," Laurens gave Alex a look. "Dances are _the_ hottest social events of the school year. In short, the administrators put a bunch of sweaty teenagers and a DJ in a room and let-err-rip. Pregames before, afterparties after, it's an all-around alcohol fest. But it's a huge deal here at Cherry Hill. You gotta ask somebody, Alex. Especially now that you're a Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republican."

"I don't know if I am anymore, John."

"What do you mean?"

"I got ISS on Friday,"

"ISS? Are you fucking kidding me? What for?"

"For punching Thomas Jefferson,"

"No fucking way!"

"Yes fucking way! And on top of that, he's cheating on Eliza. I can't believe this kid,"

"Maybe you can ask _her_ to homecoming, then!"

"Maybe after part 1 of our plan reveals Thomas' true intentions to everyone and ruins their relationship,"

Laurens gave Alex a sly grin. "I can't wait. We start this Thursday, right?"

"Yep. Thursday."

"Is Angelica's helping us out?"

"Of course she is. She hates Thomas more than we-,"

The bell rang, interrupting Alex's sentence.

"I better get to class," Laurens said.

"I better get to ISS," Alex retorted.

############

ISS wasn't as scary as Alex initially thought it would be, but it was boring. Reaaaaally boring. All Alex could do was stare at the ceiling and think about Eliza.

Eliza was confusing. At the beginning of the year, Alex was absolutely smitten with her. Now he still liked her, but he didn't feel the same as he did then. Was he less passionate? Was she less attractive? He didn't know. And she seemed so happy with Thomas that part of Alex felt guilty about their planned display of Thomas's infidelity.

But she deserved to know, right? What Thomas did was so terrible that their relationship shouldn't continue. That was the goal, at least. It wasn't an unrealistic one- why would Eliza want to stay with Thomas after she found out?

#############

The next day, Laurens, Lafayette and Alex started their experiment. According to Angelica, Thomas told Eliza that he did ACT prep every Thursday during lunch, but he was really making out with Martha Wayles, his ex, in the color guard closet above the auditorium. Their first move was subtle- to get Eliza to catch them in the act. That would be the easiest solution- no sneaking around required. Lafayette managed to lure Eliza into the guard closet by telling her that Peggy got stuck under some flags and wouldn't come out, but they just missed Thomas and Martha. The next week, Laurens forged a note from the chorus teacher telling her to meet him in the closet, once again to no avail. They tried every week for a month, but their plan never worked. Thomas kept barely escaping their efforts.

After giving up on this, Laurens retreated to plan B. He got Alex to spread rumors about Thomas- that he was gay, sleeping with male teachers and cheating his way through AP Biology. None of these were true, of course, and they did not gain much traction or faze Thomas Jefferson one bit. Anything and everything they tried didn't work. On November 21st, a week before homecoming, Laurens informed Alex that they had given up on the sabotage-Thomas business.

And that was fine with Alex. For now.

But he still didn't have a date for homecoming, and the very last thing he wanted was to see Thomas Jefferson all over Eliza.

He decided the next day to invite Eliza to get coffee after school and convince Hercules to drive them. She immediately responded yes to his text and pretty soon, they were sitting in a Starbucks doing math together.

"So- are you going to homecoming on Saturday?" Alex asked Eliza after helping her through a worksheet.

She beamed. "Yeah, Thomas and I are going together. He's driving me down in his car and we're going to go out to dinner before. I have my dress picked out and everything. Isn't that amazing?"

He couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why do you like him anyway?"

"What?"

"Why do you like Thomas fucking Jefferson, anyway?"

"Alex! How dare you? He's nice, smart funny...why don't you like-"

"He's cheating on you!"

Eliza's smile vanished.

"What do you mean?"

"With his ex. Martha Wayles."

"No, he isn't."

"Oh yes, he is. Your sister heard him talking dirty to her over the phone,"

"At my house?"

"At your house."

"Oh, my god." She looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry, Eliza," Alex mumbled.

Did Alex feel awful about telling Eliza? Yes. Did he regret it? Not one bit.

#################

The rest of the evening was incredibly awkward. Eliza started crying on the ride home, and Thomas called him the next morning informing him that he had officially forgiven him for punching him in the face and, if Alex still wanted to be friends, there was an emergency Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans meeting at his locker the next morning.

"Eliza broke up with me last night!" Thomas wailed dramatically.

"Oh, my gosh," Aaron gasped. "What happened?"

"She found out about Martha Wayles,"

"Who told her?" James exclaimed.

Burr turned and looked at Alex, who was standing awkwardly to the side.

"Some guy on the soccer team, she said,"

Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you want to do something fun?" Madison asked. "Let's skip school. Do you want to go to Taco Bell?"

"I can't go to Taco Bell, James, my face will break out and homecoming's this weekend!" Jefferson shouted.

"Aren't you not going with Eliza now, though?" Alex pointed out.

"Martha."

"Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

"He doesn't matter."

"Well-um- I have to go to class," Alex said.

"Class is for losers," James retorted. "I-"

Alex was gone before James could finish his statement.

With "hot girlfriend" out of the picture, phase one of the plan was done. Alex's very first homecoming was sure to be interesting.

 **I hope you guys liked it! Chapter 11 is coming soon :)**


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